‘There is no good way to state these facts, which must be acknowledged. My husband and I had two children and lost them both: Vincent in 2017, at sixteen, James in 2024, at nineteen. Both chose suicide, and both died not far from home.’

Things In Nature Merely Grow is essential reading, especially if you’ve ever been depressed, though it’s not a self help book. It’s Yiyun Li’s insights into existing in what she refers to as an ‘abyss’, ie the world as it is without her children. There is no moving past this abyss, nor does the abyss have an end, there is only the ‘now and now and now and now’. How can one reside in this space, and how does one live a life when a life is not necessarily worth living?

This biography is about death, about thinking instead of feeling, but also about life and linguistics, and the human capacity for language. And of course the limitations of our language, and our ability to understand the world. ‘Yes, I loved them, and still love them, but more important than loving is understanding and respecting my children, which includes, more than anything else, understanding and respecting their choices to end their lives’.

If Didion’s Year of Magical Thinking resonated with you, this book will too.

4th Estate, 2025